I was talking to a long-time friend earlier this week who mentioned how they hate it when there are “gray areas” in relationships, elements of the friendship left undefined – so you don’t know what your standing is.
Years ago, I couldn’t relate to that feeling as much as I now can, though I always have liked to have things out in the open. I like to know the lay of the land underneath and around me. And I tend to want to do for others what I would like to have done for me. Yet there are people who don’t like to be told things directly, or who are not ready to hear the bare-faced facts (or sometimes even a carefully prepared and tastefully presented morsel of truth). And of course there are times and settings where some things are alright, and others where and when they are probably not appropriate.
So there are some people who will not tell you what they think about a situation or friendship no matter how much you ask them to do so. And there are others who just plain don’t want to know what you think about a situation, even if it could be very helpful to them if they’d be willing to be a little more receptive.
What do you think? Do you have any suggestions on what might be the most helpful way to approach either of these sorts of people? What tendencies do you lean toward?